Jenerally

I will wash you all up.

I will cut you all up.

And then…

I will pour freshly melted chocolate all over you.

When people on fetlife tell me I’m attractive I cringe. 

When people on tumblr tell me I’m attractive I smile for hours :3

I met the Dudesons.

I met the fucking Dudesons.

Everything is rainbows and nothing hurts.　

SWEET DAY

heading downtown with Matt to eat at my favourite restaurant and do a bit of d/t exploring, then at 5 taking part in SlutWalk TO, and then after that getting ready for GumBall3000! yessssss

I think for my Immigrant Women in Canada class 　I will do this essay question:

Discuss how the formation of particular “ethnic” identities in Canada (e.g. Finnish, Black, etc.) were formed through social relations organized by White-ness and Canadian nationalism.

I’m really terrible at writing essays (I always do papers) so this question is straightforward and I can easily relate it to course material.  Also, it’s a sweet topic.

My relationship with my mom has been rocky. Perhaps that’s an understatement. 

In my early teens I came to realize that my mom was two people, one whom I loved very much, the other whom I hated.  After this realization, it would be a couple years before we made an effort to address her addiction.

The past few years have been full of sobriety and relapse, happiness and misery.  

But things are different now. After a two day binge, after watching my mom hide alcohol in a water bottle, after watching her pass out on the couch, I decided to say something - anything - to make a change. The next morning I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, she said no. So I took a deep breath and continued the conversation, I asked her what triggered her and I told her that I wasn’t disappointed. I didn’t let her avoidance win, we needed to talk.  We cried, and hugged, and laughed. 

Now she’s clean and sober and everything is out in the open. Things are different this time.

I’m so proud of you.

I saw Rise Against play last night.

I can’t even begin to explain the talent they have and the emotions they evoke.

They played Swing Life Away, my favourite song ever, and I swayed back and forth with my arms wrapped around my best friend and her partner, singing along with the words. It almost brought me to tears. One of the happiest and simplest moments of my life. Pure bliss.

On the other end of the spectrum, songs like Survivor Guilt and Ready to Fall made me want to change the world. And I felt like I could. 

Something about Rise Against that was so different from any other band I’ve seen was that they never asked the audience to stand up, to clap, to mosh, to yell or scream.  But we all did anyway. Because we wanted to. Because they deserved to know how much we all appreciate them.

And they appreciated everything. Us, their opening bands, the city, the bands they’ve played with from Toronto. Everything. 

I would go back in an instant.

“Good morning beautiful”

Welp.

That was cute.

So basically big things have happened in my life lately but I don’t have the time or energy to blog about it right now. Also, I will probably make the video tomorrow because I cried last night (don’t worry it’s okay) so my eyes are all swollen and my head hurts.